Looney #1

My best friend and I were reflecting on another old friend of ours today and came to the immediate conclusion that she very well fell under the Looney category. We grew up with the girl and always knew she was a bit off, but never realized until recently that she actually belonged in a crazy house somewhere in North Korea, where she would be as far away from civilized people as possible. Natalie, as we'll call her, grew up in Highland Park and her father is a well known Cardiologist. Since dance lessons when we were about ten years old, Natalie was open about her father's extramarital affairs and had come to accept that her family just functioned a little different than every other girl's. In this case, I guess a little went a long way because as Natalie got older, my best friend, Elise and I began to notice how her behavior became more and more bizarre. Nat had a series of boyfriends from nerds that picked their boogers and ate them as a hobby, super church going yuppies, to bad boys that stabbed people for a wallet containing nothing more than a five dollar bill. Nonetheless, Nat blamed her relationship choices on her father's emotional and sometimes physical abuse. Yeah, yeah, I know; some of you actually feel sorry for the girl. We did too, until we tried being there for her in a positive way and she ended up breaking into her ex boyfriends mailbox and car while it was parked outside of church during a Sunday morning service. If you think that's crossing the line just wait...I'm getting there. A few months after this occurrence, she explains to us how her ex boyfriend, who just lost his parents in a car accident, would not return her calls or emails. Elise and I advise her to give him his space and leave the poor guy alone. Nat does the opposite and sends him naked pictures of herself. Why, you ask? We don't know either, but those pictures have ended up in more inboxes than trojan virus. The caketopper: Nat, Elise, and I graduate the same year from the same college and begin our professional careers. Nat breaks it to us that she's going to law school the very next semester and it's since been exactly four years and she still hasn't graduated. While Nat is in "law school," we continue to hang out and one day, Nat approaches Elise and I and asks us for a favor that ultimately brings us to a stifling revelation. Nat apparently had been hanging out with a girl named Sabrina who one day confronted her about her alleged law student status. Sabrina explained how her father was an assistant dean at the law school Nat attended, and had never heard of her before, which was nothing short of odd. As Nat attempted to defend her position, Sabrina comes across something that resembles a fake diploma on Nat's coffee table. In this instant, Sabrina storms out of the apartment threatening to report her to the school for fraud, which I'm not even sure is possible. As Nat was telling us the story, she told us that the fake diploma was for a friend of her's that was trying to get a job and Sabrina had no right coming into her apartment and accusing her of such nonsense. Nat wanted Elise and I to come up with a plan to sabotage Sabrina. Long story short, Nat has been faking the whole law school gig for the past four years and people are slowly starting to catch onto this girl's ridiculous, nonsensical games. Since we have discovered this for the past two years, Nat has been cut out of our lives completely. She hangs out with a girl that's literally slept with 65% of single men in Dallas and still runs around claiming she's in law school. The Law School Looney.




Love,

Ana