Roly Doodle

As I sit here the morning after a hectic day and night, I can honestly say I think I have problems. I'm not a bad person by any means; most would categorize me to just be zealous or simply enthusiastic, but those that don't know me think I'm just wild and crazy (which is partly true). I'm not implying that this is necessarily a bad thing; however, in this case when drugs are involved...things always get ummm...a little shady.


So, I decided to go to Club (insert random number here) last night where a world famous DJ was spinning, and in a drunken mess, I decide it would be a good idea to take a tab of ecstasy (for the first time in my life). The music was intense and the people were well...crazy. I loved it. Contrary to popular belief, I did not enjoy being touched. Anytime anyone came near me, I shrugged them off. Who knows what my deal was? Nevertheless, it was nuts. The music just kept going and I didn't sleep at all last night, but I figure it's a one time experience and I had to live it up. I woke up this morning with techno still buzzing in my ears. It was a strange experience.


I always told my ex fiance (Sam) that I wanted the first time I tried it to be with him. So it comes to no surprise that I DIDN'T tell him about what I did last night and instead, wrote him a long text message in my emotional, drug-induced state about how I know I messed up. I really did and I genuinely miss the kid. I wish we could go back to the way we were when we were both poor college students. We were so appreciative of the smaller things and now it's just become all about "what have you done for me, lately?" A relationship shouldn't be like that. I truly believe that the Sam I fell in love with is still in there somewhere. He's my rock and I don't want to lose him. I can't. =(


So back to last night, Halloween guy was there...with another girl who was NOT his ex wife, by the way. JACKASS; he totally lied to me about "wanting to work it out with his ex wife." I said hello and was cordial to him, but that's it. I strategically avoided him unless I was dancing; because I consider myself a good dancer and I wanted to show him what he was missing. Anyway, the girl was some lady from New Orleans that had crows feet (yes I notice EVERYTHING) and she probably had one too many vodka/hatorades that night, because she did not like me. At all. And it's understood why...because I'm way better than her. No contest. Not to mention, I looked super cute and classy and she was wearing this trashy pair of overflared denim and a black long sleeved top that showed her midriff. Circa 1991. Go back where you came from, lady...the Salvation Army.


At the end of the night, my girlfriend (Andy) drove me to her place while I continued to internally freak out with what was going on with my body. I'm quite lucky to have friends that take care of me when I'm so careless myself. I really need to start paying attention to my surroundings because it can get scary sometimes especially at a sketch place like One where the jeans are tight on both the men and women. Yikes. Everything was spinning and tingling thought and I started to feel sick. Luckily, I didn't puke, but I did need to get somewhere peaceful where I could sit and just relax. I probably drank like 10 gallons of water last night and as a result, had to pee every 10 minutes. That was my night. I only got an hour of sleep because Andy and I stayed up talking until 5:30 in the morning. What a fantastic, crazy, substance abusive weekend it was! (ahem)




Ciao loves!


Ana